Sunday, February 19, 2012

Bank of America Sucks

Because this is our blog, we can feature guest bloggers sometimes, particularly when those guests have an angry rant about Bank of America. If you’d like to learn more about this guest contributor, click here.

This morning I got yet another email from Bank of America alerting me that there is suspicious activity on my card. They said I could review it online, but I'd have to call them if I ever wanted to see my money again.

Thinking of my poor money being held hostage in a dark vault (unlike Mitt Romney's money that enjoys the lovely views in the Cayman Islands) I decided I should leap into action. This being the third time they have held my money hostage this month, I now have the number saved in my phone as "Bank of America Sucks".

It really does. 

I took an hour or so to try and calm down first. I did not want to scream at the representative who answered about how wonderful this "service" is. This is the same service, after all, that failed to catch fraud on my card the one time it actually happened, but since then, has many times kept me standing at the front of a line while I wait to purchase a big ticket item. I am awarded the pleasure of watching the people behind me get more and more irritated as I wait to tell the Bank of America representative, "Yes, I am in possession of my card, and I would like to stop wasting everyone's time in this store. Please turn my card on kthxbi".

I tried my best to avoid sarcasm and snark, but when I'm irritated that is no easy task. The female representative I spoke to didn't seem to mind too much about my snark, and she kindly informed me they turned off my card because someone had tried to activate a World of Warcraft account in Europe.

Totes delighted, I explained, "Yes, I play World of Warcraft. Yes, I do play WoW on the European servers, and yes, I did, in fact, already tell this to someone else when they turned it off YESTERDAY for the exact same reason.”

She turned my card back on, and I then went on my merry way, being sure to make it rain on my ho (AKA . . .giving Ariana her payment for the car I purchased from her).

Can a brotha get a hell yeah?
My only hope is that they will do it again tomorrow. And the next day. And, if I’m very lucky, the day after that. Actually, I don't think my week will be complete unless my card is turned off, forcing me to wait on hold for however long they decide to keep me there just so I can tell them (again), "Yes, I do play WoW on the Euro servers." every day this week.

BROTIP: If you are ever forced to hold for Bank of America, imagine that whoever is going to answer the call has already looked up your account information, and they are simply waiting to pick up the phone until after they can stop laughing at your misfortune. You will be surprised at how calm this makes you, and how well the interaction goes after.

- DnA