Starbucks and the National Organization for Marriage...

Wait, you mean I didn't change the World in a
single click?!?

Oh man, I’m writing about Starbucks again. For some reason, they just keep popping up on my radar.


This time, it’s the sumofus.org movement to send Starbucks a thank you card for their support of same sex marriage. I started seeing this link popping up on Facebook, shortly after the Kuny links started fading....so yes, Facebook has become our generation’s lazy way of supporting political movements.

This particular movement gave me some doubts. It seemed like a really great way to get a lot of publicity so I figured I would do a bit of research on the topic. Also, just because it’s on Facebook, doesn’t mean it’s true or accurate. I will not believe everything I see on Facebook!!

So here’s the deal; Starbucks added its name to a list of companies that supported a marriage equality bill in the state of Washington. Ultimately though, it was the politicians of Washington State that passed the bill and the governor signed it into law. Thus, without the inevitable backlash of Christian and right wing fundamentalists, the law will take effect June 7th 2012. Currently, same sex relationships have an ‘everything but’ status in the state of Washington; this law simply takes this to the next step, allowing for same sex marriage with all the same rights as heterosexual marriage.

Ultimately, what does it means that Starbucks supported this bill? It’s the same as any group of people supporting a bill. They are not the ones that officially vote on the bill to pass, but senators and other politicians supposedly look to public support to make their decisions.

Really, the issue here is that the National Organization for Marriage(NOM) has decided to target Starbuck’s support of the bill and issue a boycott against the company. The irony is that there are plenty of other major corporations that signed their names in support of the bill, yet Starbucks is the company being targeted. NOM also threatened any republican legislators who voted for the bill by stating that they were willing to spend $250,000 on primary challenges against them. I am assuming that means that come the next election, NOM will throw money into campaigns against those legislators.

How dare Starbucks use their
influence as a corporation to
support same sex marriage!
Only we, as a non-profit
organization, get that right!

So NOM, who is complaining that a corporation can throw their support behind a bill, will use their political influence and money to thwart the re-election of republican legislators who signed this bill. Bill Brown, the president of NOM, was quoted as saying “We will not tolerate an international company attempting to force its misguided values on citizens.” How is a political organization forcing its values on political representatives any different?

I think it’s important to note that NOM is a 501(c)(4) non-profit organization. This is different than a 501(c)(3) organization in that they can lobby and participate in political legislature. The reason they can do this is because they are an organization that “promotes social welfare”. This also means that they “cannot primarily benefit a private group of citizens”. The question becomes whether or not a group whose mission is “to protect marriage and the faith communities that sustain it” is supporting a private group or not.

When boycotting Google, does that means you have to stop using google as a verb? 

The whole Starbucks boycott is really just one group’s way of fighting for a definition of marriage that only includes one man and one woman. Starbucks became the boycott target because a boycott works well only with a concentrated effort. One company that supported the bill was selected and it happened to be Starbucks. It’s a lot easier to boycott over-priced coffee than it is to boycott Home Depot, Levi's, Amazon.com, Microsoft or even Google.

Ultimately, I did sign the thank you card for Starbucks. I personally support same sex marriage. Even if I didn’t, I would sign the thank you card as a form of anti-support for NOMs scare tactics.



The decision to sign it yourself though....well, that’s up to you.

 

Women Are Crazy.

It's time for round 2 of dating advice from me! 

This helpful advice is for the menfolks, as most of my advice is. Menfolk; bitches be crazy.

That’s it. That’s my advice.

I’m serious though, women are crazy. We are actually bat shit insane. Most of us though, are fairly good at hiding our insanity. It’s still there though, lurking beneath the surface....

For instance!

We like men who are assholes. I have no idea what it is about assholes, but damn. When some dude can’t even deign to give me the time of day, it gets me hot. It must be something about wanting what you can’t have or some bullshit like that. When men ignore me, it drives me wild. I’m actually only being a little sarcastic here because it’s true. Maybe not to that extent, but men who express interest but are then standoffish or run hot and cold tend to make me more interested than a guy who is all about me. Really, if a guy is all about me, I assume something is wrong with him because I’m crazy.

Yes, even the most self assured woman is secretly filled with self doubt. Anyone who is interested in us must be blind in one eye and really, really desperate and everyone knows desperation is not an attractive characteristic.

Yes, even the most beautiful of women
 can be ugly in the right light.

So the fact that we are really secretly filled with self doubt is another sign of our craziness. Some of this self doubt has to do with our physical appearance. We are extremely self conscious of our looks. I realize that I have attractive features and sometimes, if the lighting is just right, I can actually look ‘pretty’. 


When men tell me I am attractive, I assume the lighting is in that ‘just right’ state and they’ll eventually realize how unflattering the rest of the world looks on me.


I am also aware that most of this is in my head. I had a roommate who had long, curly hair that was absolutely gorgeous. Many days, she would complain about her hair. “Oh it’s all fluffy today!” she would cry. When I looked at her hair, it looked exactly the same as it always did to me; perfect. She would then spend the next hour alternately spraying, styling and gelling her hair, the end result being that it looked exactly the same to me.

Another example!

When we actually manage to get over our self doubt enough to land us a man, that’s when the real crazy sets in. If we allow ourselves to admit that we actually like someone enough that we want to keep them around, the most ridiculous, absolutely insane thought pops into our heads. 

It worked! Now he can never, ever leave meeeeeee!!!

Are you ready for this?


“Oh my god, he’s going to leave me, how can I get him to stay? I know, I’ll get pregnant!”

Yes, this is absolutely crazy. That doesn’t mean it hasn’t gone through the head of your significant other/friend/mother at some point in time. Just because women have this thought, doesn’t mean they act on it, but it’s still there. Most women realize how insane thoughts like that are....but I’m sure we can all agree that a few women actually manage to pull this off....

Really, we are all crazy. There’s no help for it. Men, there’s nothing you can do to combat the craziness, but you can be aware that it exists and be patient with us. When we are ready, we’ll share it with you...hopefully little by little, in small, manageable doses. Unless you get us drunk. Then you take matters into your own hands. Alcohol is a first class ticket on the crazy train! Hooray!

Beep beep, it's the crazy train!

America's Next Top Racist?

Tyra Banks: calling white girls "Yanks", since 2012.

So I know I am a little behind on this, but I get my tv through hulu.com, so there’s a bit of a delay there. Then, after I watched this episode, I just kept thinking about it and getting more and more annoyed by what I had seen and heard.

What I'm talking about is America’s Next Top Model. The new season, or ‘cycle’ as they call it, has just begun. This cycle features half of the potential models coming from the US and the other half from Britian. Towards the beginning of the season premier, when Tyra Banks referred to the US girls as “Yanks”, I should have known there would be nothing politically correct about the show.

This cycle also happens to feature the first ever Native American hopeful. So, in a competition designed to pit the United States against England, they’ve also made sure to throw in a woman of Native American heritage. Mariah, whatever you do, do not accept gifts from ANYONE.

For those of you who didn’t immediately google ‘americas next top model native american chick’, Mariah is the name of the Native American contestant. As it turns out, not only is she Native American(yay!), she’s also from Oregon(double yay!). Granted, she's from Pendleton, which is the opposite side of the state from where I grew up, but considering that I live 3000 miles away now, a paltry 8 hour drive is practically next door.

Now, dear Internet friends, I might be a little overzealous about this topic, but since I identify at Native American myself, Native stereotypes are kind of a big deal to me, especially since my brown hair and blue eyes don’t fit the stereotype. When I see the kind of ridiculous stereotyping that occurred on this show, I get kind of upset.

Why might I be upset? It’s just a stupid tv show. That millions of people watch. Around the world.

So what was so awful about the episode?

The only Native American girl to ever be on the show, was expected to play the role of Pocahontas. Yes, they decided the first series of photographs should feature well known American figures juxtaposed against well known British figures. Sounds like a really fun idea, right? It could have been, had it featured less racism and stereotyping.

“Wait, I thought Pocahontas was a positive role model for young Native American women” you might ask yourself. You’d be wrong. Who do you think of, when you think of Pocahontas? I bet, for most of you, you think of the anorexic, top heavy, fell in love with the first white dude she saw Disney princess. Hey man, me too. The live action movie Pocahontas was far too depressing for me to want to think of that when I hear her name. It’s probably a more accurate portrayal of Pocahontas and her life though. The big problem is that Pocahontas just happens to be the only Native American female of note that any white people know, except for maybe Sacagawea("Isn’t that the chick on the stupid dollar coins I used to get as change from vending machines?").

Seriously though, pick up a book and read about other Native American women who did something more than fall in love with some white dude and become ‘civilized’.

Pocahontas vs. John Lenon....really?

So anyway....we’ve determined that Pocahontas is famous for absolutely nothing. Now lets talk about what you think of when you think of Native American dress. Does it come from a costume store? It sure did on this episode of America’s Next Top Model. Is it really that difficult to find something that identifies her as Native, without proclaiming “Let’s see how much crap I can slap onto a small piece of leather!” Also notice the shortness of the skirt, the garishly dyed feathers and the shoulder baring boat neck, all highly practical designs for hunting deer, gathering berries and growing crops.

Mariah though, was a good sport, and let them dress her up in this get up. I have no idea how much she knows about traditional regalia, but since she grew up around Pendleton, Oregon, which is right next to the Umatilla Indian Reservation, home of the tribe to which she belongs, I’d say she’s at least been to a pow-wow or two.

Being a good sport got her this:

"Guess what happened to me today?
Someone confused me with Kelly Osbourne."

Kelly Osbourne: “Coming from someone who is Native American, you would have thought they would have brought something from within. You could have done something a little bit more special.”

Has anyone seen the movie Bridesmaids? Kelly Osbourne as a judge reminds me of the fat, ugly, idiotic British sister. It’s harsh, I know, but I felt like her comments were often idiotic and she uses such long pauses in her speech that she comes of as extremely unintelligent.

Picking corn fills me with such pain.

Nigel Barker: “First of all, Mariah, I feel like you had a very easy thing to do. I mean, you are Native American. I don’t feel like you’ve committed. I just don’t see the angst. I don’t see any feeling. I don’t see the passion. I just see you looking pretty.”


Because Pocahontas, as a Native American, living during the time period when Native Americans still had their land and their traditional way of life, was filled with ANGST.     

I think what upsets me the most, is that I actually like this show. I like Nigel Barker as a judge. I like the work that the models and artists do, during the duration of the show. But all of that has been tarnished by this. Two people said some extremely ignorant things and NO ONE CARED. Their comments made the editing cuts and were aired on national tv. There has been absolutely no backlash against the things that were said.

Telling the Native girl that she should have done a better job as Pocahontas because she is Native, is like telling the self proclaimed ‘androgynous’ one that she should have been able to portray a more manly George Washington. Oh wait, THEY DID SAY THAT.


I give up. I’m officially revolting against this show.  

DO YOU HEAR ME TYRA BANKS? I REFUSE TO WATCH YOUR TRASHY TV ANYMORE!


NO I AM NOT REFERRING TO YOUR TALK SHOW!


zing!