Flying.

*Insert obligatory crap about how long it's been since our last post and subsequent excuses*

Moving on...

I'm at the airport, joy of joys. While travel is always very rewarding; getting to see new places or visit old friends or be present for major events in the lives of the people I care about(the purpose of this particular visit), it's also very stressful.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

See, somewhere along the way in my life, I picked up the idea that planes are dangerous. They fall out of the sky ALL THE TIME. This is not actually the case, but I can't shake the feeling that my doom is imminent every time I get on a plane. I mean, they do crash on occasion, but the odds of being on a plane that crashes is slim. Physics supports planes being able to fly, but I still find the whole thing terrifying. Every change in engine pitch, every turbulent bump makes me clutch at my arm rest, like that will help.

I try not to be a bad passenger though. I sit quietly in my seat, waiting for the explosion that means an engine has gone out and we will begin our abrupt plummet earthwards.

Being over the age of 21, has made flying a lot easier. During my airport wait, I find the nearest Mexican restaurant and get a margarita. Why? Alcohol makes me care a lot less about the heightened potential for death I associate with flying.

What really pisses me off is that flying cross country, to the small hamlet in Southern Oregon where I grew up, always requires three planes. There are rare occasions where I can get away with only two, which means one flight is an epic 6 hour battle to keep myself entertained and prevent body parts from falling asleep. I never win that battle. The terror though, intensifies at take off and during landing, so I prefer the longer flights with fewer breaks because it means less chance for human error on the landing/take-off. The landing on my most recent flight from Baltimore to Newark was pretty harrowing. Our landing gear was out a full 10 minutes before we landed, slowing us down, creating more drag, etc etc while we were still thousands of feet above the ground. I especially liked the part where we wobbled around while coming in for the landing. It's so comforting to know your pilot can't keep the plane balanced or going in a straight line.

I also feel like pointing out that I just overheard an argument in the kitchen, which happens to be very near my table. Two people were yelling at each other, banging things around and when my waiter came out, he asked another worker if she had seen the woman hit him. He has not made another appearance since. Such things make me truly consider the dine and dash.... I mean, I have a flight to catch and I've got about two shots worth of tequila making me care a lot less about social norms. I'll give this place about 10 more minutes and if no one shows, I might just walk out.

Damn, he re-appeared. I was kind of looking forward to a free margarita.

Now it's time to pay my check and proceed to my gate so I can sit around for awhile. Eventually, I can stand in line so that I can then sit around for 5 hours while a the giant chunk of metal I am enveloped in flies through the air around 5 or 6 miles above the surface of the Earth.

At least I'll get some reading in.

Salad for those who don't eat salad.

How do you pass for 18? That's absolutely ridic...
*drool*
What were we talking about?

Hello friends and internet friends! I apologize for the lack of posting, but the end of the semester hit us pretty hard....but that's all over with and school is out for summer! Thank you, Glee for putting that song in my head. It's been there for a week now. It helps that Puck is singing it...rawr.

What was the point of this? It certainly wasn't  me fantasizing about a 30 year old pretending to be a college student....

Oh right. Salad.

So I hate salad. Like...really hate it. The problem is that I don't like salad dressing. I hate vinegar. I hate ranch. I hate 1000 islands and any other possible dressing you could come up with. The only dressing that I can possibly eat around is the ginger dressing at Asian restaurants, and after a couple pieces of lettuce, I'm done.

For me, salad is just a bowl of lettuce and that's lame as hell. If I am feeling particularly unhealthy, I might make a salad, but it will have fruit and nuts in it for some flavor and crunch. Truthfully though, I rarely eat salad. I'd just rather eat something with a lot of vegetables, like vegetable lasagna or vegetable curry.

Tonight though, I am eating salad for dinner. 

Skkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt

What? I just said that I rarely eat salad. Either this is one of those rare occasions, or something big is happening. Just so you know, it's the later.

Kale Salad

Kale and bread crumbs...who knew?

a lemon

some kale (washed, of course!)

a clove or two of garlic

parmesan cheese

bread crumbs

Slice out the big stem that runs down the middle of the kale. That shit is good in stir fry, but not when you're eating it raw. Slice up about 4 leaves of kale per serving of salad that you want to make. Chop it up into small, bite size pieces and throw them in a bowl.

Slice open the lemon. I used about 1/3 of the lemon for my single serving of salad. Squeeze the lemon over the kale leaves. You can use a juicer if you are a wimp, otherwise, just do it by hand. Let this sit while you crush the shit out of a clove of garlic.

 I used about half a medium sized clove for my single serving and it's pretty strong on the garlic, which I like. When I say crush the garlic, I mean peel it and mince it, then crush it with the flat side of the knife you are using to mince it, then mince it again. You want those pieces nice and small.

Toss the garlic in with the kale, sprinkle on some bread crumbs and parmesan and VOILA! I used maybe 1.5 tablespoons of bread crumbs and 2 tablespoons of parmesan. It's all to taste.

Kale is EVERYWHERE!
Like...in my mouth.

If you want a little something extra with the salad, try dicing up some roasted chicken breast and throwing that on top. You could even do some breaded chicken if you were so inclined.

I might start eating salad a lot more often. Especially because kale is EVERYWHERE right now.

Spelling Fail: Week of 5/21 - Starbucks, Annapolis

My coworker has a knack for finding amazing spelling errors. She finds the almost every time she leaves the house, which is infrequent because she has an irrational fear of being viciously attacked by ducklings. 

She sends them to me because she knows they fill my heart with joy. Butter also fills my heart with joy, but apparently that’s just the feeling that indicates the onset of a heart attack. It's cool, though. I'm cutting back to two sticks a day. Just don't expect me to be happy about it. 

Anyway! This week’s Spelling Fail Award goes to the maintenance crew for the Starbucks/apartment complex parking lot on West Street in Annapolis, Maryland.

They get an A+ at tracing!

This was just an example of cheeky shenanigans performed by a
disgruntled employee. You might say he was
RETALiating
against the man. 

Too much?

You win at everything. Forever!